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People who pissed me off on 4/16/04

The ridiculous Mike Deckers files (and more)

The item in question here is a vintage Boston Red Sox jacket. I've sold a few of these in my day and they're pretty valuable, as far as jackets go. They typically sell for around $80, which is a nice haul for something I probably paid $4 for. Everything started with what seemed to be a question of marginal importance.

Sent: 4/7/04 10:08:54 AM

Hello, How are you doing to day can you tell me how big the jacket is if it will fit a person 6'1 or taller. I want the jacket and what price are you willing to sell it for to me I will buy it asap email me back at to let me know how to pay you and were to send money order to you do we have a deal on the jacket
btownsox9 (

Sent: 4/7/04 2:54:27 PM

The jacket will fit a person of 6'1 size as long as the person does not weigh a truckload. I am 6'6 and it fit me okay when I tried it on a second ago.

I do not end auctions early for people who cannot pay with Paypal. If you want to buy it direct from me immediately, my offer is $100 (including shipping). I've sold a couple of these jackets and they average roughly $90 in price. So, if you can use Paypal and are willing to pay $100, let me know.

If not, you can bid on it as usual and pay with money order then.

That seems like a reasonable offer. I really wasn't expecting him to accept my highball offer, because it appeared he wasn't registered with Paypal, but I figured I may as well throw it out there, just in case. Why would I end an auction early without payment sitting in my hand, either? Do people really do that? If he were to accept my offer, he'd have to make sure the money order arrived before the end of the auction or before bidding went over the agreed amount. In that case, I'd mail it right back to him. Obviously, since I'm discussing this right here, this didn't occur.

Sent: 4/7/04 3:30:12 PM

how much do you want for the jacket at this time I am willing to pay for the jacket ok email me back at thanks
btownsox9 (

Okay, that's strange. He must not have checked him email before sending this one out. It happens all the time. I'll just wait a bit for him to check his inbox.....

Sent: 4/8/04 11:41:38 AM

will this jacket fit a perdon 6'1 or bigger and how much do you want for the jacket at this time Email me back today at
btownsox9 (

Clearly something is not going through. Either he deleted the mail I sent or he's a complete imbecile. There's also a good chance both are true. This response was necessary:

Sent: 4/8/04 9:25:38 PM

I already sent you an email almost two days ago answering your question. Check your email.

Sent: 4/9/04 10:28:43 AM

Do you want 90.00 for the jacket or not. Email me back real soon mike deckers
btownsox9 (

Sent: 4/9/04 11:27:31 AM

what do you want for the jacket i am willing to buy it for any price ok email me back today at
btownsox9 (

At this point, there was only three days left in the auction and there was no way he could mail a money order out fast enough. I also noticed he took my advice and actually bid on the item instead of trying to buy it direct. Bidding was up to $81 and I was happy. There was no need to respond to his poorly worded emails since the jacket had already met expectations and I'd rather deal with a real ebay user instead of this dickwad.

However, later that day, I noticed something. The jacket was no longer up to $81; it had dropped down to a lean $30. Someone had retracted their bid. Retracted their bid a lot. If you will, they retracted the shit out of their bid. This was not good. I checked the bid history and saw this jaw-dropping information:

I find it a LITTLE hard to believe that one person could enter in the wrong bid price on four non-consecutive occasions, especially when three of them are the same amount. Clearly, mysterious doings were a-transpiring. It was time to do some research on our little friend, Mike Deckers. In the meantime, he kept sending more email to me. If it feels like you're reading the same thing over and over again, imagine what it's like to be me.

Sent: 4/10/04 3:35:02 PM

how much do you want for the jacket email me back to let me know of a price to give you for the jacket
btownsox9 (

Thanks to Ben Franklin, who invented the concept of research, I found out that Mr. Deckers also likes to sell Red Sox jackets. However, he doesn't quite have the proper command of the English language and common sense skills required to make selling work. His auctions looked like this:

Wow. What a horrible auction title and description. No picture either! Who buys used clothes anywhere with no photo? And "Redsox" is two words, dipshit. Later, I checked his bidding history and noticed that he would bid insane amounts on similar jackets then retract the bids. If you put the pieces together, he tried bidding up other sellers' jackets to make his own seem like a better deal to prospective bidders. Then, after a short while, he would retract and bid again soon after. Obviously he had no intention of winning or paying for other jackets. This is a crafty (and completely ebay-illegal) maneuver IF you cover your tracks. Btownsox9 did not. How far would this moron go to make his auctions look better? This far:

Eighty! Eighty retractions in the last six months! Not slick. At this point, I added Mr. Deckers' account to my blocked bidder list and put up a disclaimer in my item description telling btownsox9 to piss off. He then sent me this email:

Sent: 4/11/04 11:51:39 AM

tell me why did you block me from the biding on the jacket you are not nice for doing that ok give me a reason for this Email me back at
btownsox9 (

Sent: 4/11/04 8:51:11 PM

You've retracted 80 bids in the last six months. You obviously have no idea how ebay works and I don't want to deal with such people.

I normally would have been more harsh and included different variations of the word cock-eater, but I didn't want him to retaliate by forwarding the email to ebay. I really didn't need to either, as I wrote a fairly long email to ebay's Investigation Center detailing his prohibited actions. His shit would be plenty fried once ebay read my email. Let me tell you, I've been called a lot of things from thousands of different people, but when some moron from the Red Sox nation calls me "not nice," that hurts.

A few days later, I checked his profile and saw this:


Not only that, but I ended up selling the jacket for near $100. So in the end, the bad guys got locked up and the good guys got the women and rode off into the sunset. I, however, sat down and ate a bowl of cereal.

Sent: 4/15/04 8:34:39 PM

hello I am very interested in this auction all the controls deck sysytem an dgames work well??? What part of western new york are you located in? What is your return policy? Please get back to me soon as aauction ends in a few hours thanks so much Duncan
btbandabbermake3s (

Sent: 4/15/04 10:25 PM

It used to work great when it was used a few years ago, but I have not tested it since. I am not a store, so there is no return policy. I am based in Kenmore, NY, right on the border of Buffalo.

Sent: 4/15/04 10:31:08 PM

btbandabbermake3s (

Sent: 4/15/04 10:33 PM

I do not have the means to test it this close to the end of the auction.

Sent: 4/15/04 10:47:01 PM

btbandabbermake3s (

The circular path this email exchange began to take started to bother me, so I didn't respond to that last one. Christ, don't people understand that when I say I am not a store and do not give refunds that YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE A REFUND? The phrase "as-is" cannot be this difficult to understand. Not to mention his screen name screams "douche," and by douche, I mean "fucking retard." I'll also not comment on his spelling and use of CAPS. This guy ended up not bidding on my item. Damn! Damn damn damn.

Sent: 4/2/04

Can you ship this for $2.50 first class, the postage alone is only $1.29 in a bubble envelope. Please let me know. Thanks.
(_office.space_) (

Why don't I just mail it to you for free since walking to your house costs nothing? Just because your screen name makes reference to a movie I enjoy doesn't mean that I don't hate you. Eat me.

Sent: 3/23/04

i bidded for your item accidently, is there anyway i can get out of the bid?
nathancirson (

Indeed there is, but I don't think you're going to enjoy it.

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