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People who pissed me off on 4/8/04

Sent: 4/8/04

Hello, I am the current high bidder. I bid based on the "Authentic" description which means that the numbers are sewn on. Is that correct? If not, I do not want this. I should have asked before I bid, but I have bought many authentic and they are all sewn on. Thanks
ucmaestro (

Sent: 4/8/04

It says Authentic right on the tag, and that is what I go by. I don't care what the common perception of "authentic" is -- that is none of my business. My description was explicit and the picture clearly shows screen printing. I understand that it can be back-breaking labor to read a description and look at a photo before entering into a binding contract, but it's a task I recommend.

Your bid has been canceled, by the way.

This user was probably going through something called "potential buyer's regret." He entered the bid in with a few days left, didn't plan on winning, and then once there was an hour left and he was still the high bidder, he panicked. I mean, one quick glance at the enclosed photo shows nothing is sewn on. His story HAS to be a load of shit, doesn't it? Apparently not, because this next email, sent just ten minutes later, shows that being mentally deficient runs rampant in users who like to bid on my items.

Sent: 4/8/04 3:27:43 PM

Hello I wanted to know if this jersey is authentic I forgot to ask you.
patten0504 (

Sent: 4/8/04 3:44:59 PM

I noticed that none of your jeresy's are not authentic, no offense but I don't wear fake jeresy's so kindly remove me from this item.
patten0504 (

an authentic tag

Sent: 4/8/04

Why would you think the Barkley jersey is authentic? Where do I say authentic? Just because I have other authentic jerseys doesn't mean that all jerseys are authentic. Learn to read, please.

Way to misspell "jersey" twice, imbecile. Also, with the disgusting use of a double-negative in his first sentence, he is actually saying that ALL of my jerseys are authentic, which clearly they are not. Just to clear things up, if it says "Authentic" right on the tag, I consider that authentic. If there is no mention of authentic anywhere on the actual jersey, I don't mention it in the auction. Simple, right? Before I had time to cancel this loser's bid, I got this email:

Sent: 4/8/04

Did you receive my question about cancelling my bid because the ad states that it is an authentic jersey when Champion call them replica jerseys? Thanks
ucmaestro (

I love people who don't check to see if their problem has been solved before sending a complaint letter. Champion doesn't call them authentic jerseys? That's odd, because that tag above sure looks like it says "Authentic" to me. By the way, if I really wanted to be a dick, I could have easily NOT canceled these user's bids. By bidding, they are entering into a binding contract, whether or not they were smart enough to read the fine (or in this case, not fine at all) print. I could have let them win, made them pay, and if they didn't pay, report them to ebay and leave them negative feedback. But since that's awfully petty and a waste of my time, I killed their bids, added them to my Blocked Bidder list and took the $1.50 or so combined loss. Then I kicked their pets, spit in their burgers and keyed their cars.

Sent: 4/8/04

Is this bigger than 2X measurements
brooklyn1276 (

Sent: 4/8/04

The jersey is size 40 (about an adult medium), so I doubt it has 2X measurements.

I only mention the size three times (once in the title, twice in the description), so I can see how users can be confused. And 2X isn't even a measurement, it's a size. Everyone is stupid, see?

Sent: 4/6/04

Hi, I have an old Nintendo SUPER NES system. Is this game (and your others) SUPER NES compatible?
lisamatt5087 (

This user asked this question about one of the 40 NES games I had posted. Nintendo games are compatible with SNES hardware about as much as milk is compatible with a toaster. I'd bet you a month's income ($35) that Lisa penned this question, not Matt. This proves my theory that girls don't know shit about classic video games. I wish this question had been around when I wrote my senior thesis on the subject.

Sent: 4/8/04

are the name and numbers sewn on kevin
bspring12 (

Ow, I'd hate to be Kevin if that statement is true.

Sent: 4/8/04

Hey I'm the leading bidder .Hey I'm eager to get my g-ballin jersey. Just give me an approximation to when it will arive. Thanks
langstrom2000 (

At the time this email was sent to me, there were five days left in the auction. I always thought you had to WIN and PAY for the item before it was shipped, but what the hell do I know? The jersey in question is Dan Majerle, and I can't think of a person less "g-ballin" than Thunder Dan. No way this is a real email. Please tell me this is not a real email. No one can be this dumb.

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