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I Hate Everybody on Ebay.

If you use ebay and have ever asked me a question about the items I'm selling, you are probably a moron. And not one of those lovable morons you see in movies; I'm talking about Grade-Fucking-A Morons who are either locked up or well on their way to some sort of cell. The only questions that are even remotely valid are shipping inquiries from international users. I'm not going to list the price of shipping to every known country in my auctions, so people usually have to ask. Fine.

However, these questions are rare compared to the typical shit that sneaks past my spam control. Every day, email spews in from across this country of stooges asking about the size of something, or if they can buy a $100 item direct from me for the incredible price of $20. Simply put, everyone who sends me email either can't read the item description or is trying to rip me off. Nice plan, dipshit.

Normally these questions are simply not worth my time to respond to, so I delete them. I also don't want to have to deal with these morons in case they actually win an auction or two. I'd rather potentially lose a buck and deal with someone less retarded. However, I've been getting so many unbelieveable questions in recent months, it's due time these people got their precious answers, where everyone can see.

All questions are real and are transcribed exactly how they were sent to me. All spelling and grammar are untouched, which makes my spell-check flip out like a ninja at All email addresses and user names are included, but this is not an invitation to spam them or fuck with their auctions. Their own stupidity is encumbering enough. Orange emails are theirs; light blue are mine. If there is no light blue immediately after their email, it means I didn't reply for whatever reason, typically because their question/statement was irrelevant, irrational or idiotic.

!NEW! Every Question Ever! !NEW!

* Morons from April 8, 2004 *

* Morons from April 16, 2004 *

* Morons from May 14, 2004 *

* Morons from August 4, 2004 *

Related links

My old ebay About Me page -- see the morons from 2003!
Even more ebay lunacy, courtesy hoffcorp! Hilarious!


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