Classic Ebay Morons: the Patrick Rosner files

Ebay Morons: the Patrick Rosner edition

The following events involve a man, his love for vintage video games, and his imaginary twin brother with the same name as him. This man is Patrick Rosner and judging strictly from his name, he sounds like a nice guy. It's a hell of a lot better than Adolf McStrict. This is the only positive thing I have to say about him.

What you're about to read may or may not be all that funny overall, and either way, it'll be plenty long with about 100,000 characters of pictureless text. So you've been warned. However, if you like reading about completely batshit nuts people and the ebay items they bid on, please continue. So crack open a Sprite Remix and sit back in your scoliosis-inducing computer chair. I'm in mine!

Some necessary background info… I used to own an old Sega Master System, which I hadn’t played in about three years. The advent of emulation coupled with the fact that every SMS game ever blows led me to sell it on ebay. I posted it in November 2002 and it had a winning bid of about $60. The fuckhead bidder never paid, though, and I didn't get around to relisting it until the first week of May. I started the bidding at a penny. I didn't care if I only received 19 cents for the system, games, everything. I just wanted to get rid of it all and move on.

So I posted it with a nice pic and it eventually sold for $31. Not as much as the first time, but 31 bucks is still 31 bucks. It turns out the winning bidder, curiously named pclaptop2002, was from Canada. I forgot to weigh the box with the controllers and light gun in it, so I actually ended up lowballing the shipping price. I charged him $10 when it came out to $13. Whatever. I'm not going to moan about three dollars. He paid immediately with Paypal and I shipped the next day via Economy Mail, which he requested. Later that month, I went on vacation for 10 days with seemingly all of my ebay transactions finished up, but apparently I was wrong.

His emails are in orange and mine are in light blue. My commentary is in regular text. All text and layout are exactly as they were in the emails themselves.

Sent: 5/30/03

did you ship my item as a gift?

I just got a notice of dilivery and I have to pay 13 dollars
Im not picking it up because Im not paying anymore money
Im going to ask who its from so I can get a refund(make sure its from you-only package I think that im waiting for from the states)

Ill email you back as soon as I find out
Thx

Sent: 5/31/03

When to the post office and its not a "Gift" you checked merchandise
Pls refund full amount
or you can send me 13 dollars with paypal to pay for YOUR mistake

I asked before to make sure as I would not have bid otherwise
Email me back ASAP
I will await your email before taking any actions
thx

Yah, sure, I'll refund the full amount and you don't even have to return the games to me! That's just how life and ebay works. You have a firm grasp on reality.

Sent: 6/2/03

I have not recieved a reply yet from you
I have not recieved the package and want a full refund

I will be starting claims tonight and tomorrow morning if this is not
Resolved

thx a lot
hope to hear from you today

bye
~Pat

Sent: 6/4/03

Hi again

this is the last email you will get from me directly
I will be working this out with paypal, ebay and my credit card company(sorry it had to come to this but I asked you before the auction ended)

If you want to work something out pls feel free to email me anytime until 4pm(PT) tomorrow(june 4th 2003). After that I will have no choice

Thanks
I hope you email me back as I dont want this to ruin your accounts over a situation that can be fixed rather easy.

Bye

Last email I get from you? I wish. Mixed in with 700+ junk emails were these four. I guess this is what happens when you go on vacation with no computer access for 10 days. This was my response:

Sent: 6/4/03

Sorry for the delay in this response... I have been away on vacation since May 23.

You've sent several emails, and I'm not sure what has happened. In one email, you state that I didn't mark the item as a gift, and in the email below, you say the item didn't arrive at all. Which one is it?

I sent the package as a gift, not as merchandise.

If it has not arrived yet, please remember you decided to pay the cheap way of shipping it. As you will see when the package arrives, I unintentionally under-charged you (I ended up not weighing the full box...but that was my mistake, not yours, which is why I didn't ask you to pay the difference). So, if the package has not arrived, just give it a few more weeks. International mail has been taking forever recently, so please be patient.

-Justin

I honestly have no idea how it ended up being marked as Merchandise and not Gift. I didn't fill out the form at the post office, but I did tell the clerk to mark it as Gift. I guess he didn't. What more do you want me to do? For smaller items, I fill out the form myself and mark it as Gift.

Sent: 6/5/03
8:22:01 PM

you sent it as merchandise.
I have a picture to prove it

they charged me 13 dollars which I dont wont to pay(I calculated how much it would cost to buy it and now I seem to be getting ripped off by your mistake)

the package is at the post office and I can pay the 13 dollars or not

If you have a solution let me know
I will await your email

Note how he says the package is at the post office and he has a picture of the improperly filled out customs form.

Sent: 6/5/03
9:16:48 PM

If you are unwilling to pay the extra money, go to the post office and have them return it "Refused, Return to Sender." It won't cost you anything to do this, and the package will be returned to me within a few weeks. I told the clerk at the post office to send it as a gift, not as merchandise, but apparently he didn't do that. Once the package returns to me, I will refund the bid price of the item via Paypal.

By the way, you aren't getting ripped off at all. I sold a very similar Sega Master System auction two or three months ago for over $60. Not to mention the money you saved by me mistakenly charging you too little for shipping originally.

Let me know what you decide.
-Justin

Sent: 6/5/03
9:41:54 PM
I justed picked it up from the post office
this system is not woth 60 dollars
Its filthy and the thing is trashed
the box(if you can call it that) has been "run over" it seems
If you are willing to refund the 13 dollars Canadian I had to pay
... I will keep it as It seems to still work(not sure about all the games though... have been trying to get them to work and nothing yet
let me know

Sent: 6/6/03
Hi
Havent heard back from you
So Im assuming your not going to do anything
I will get continue with my initial idea unless you can get back to me before. I will be getting back from work around 5-6... so I hope to hear from you
talk to you soon
~Pat

At this point, our little friend decided to register a complaint against me to Paypal. He didn't wait until the 5-6 time he mentioned in the email. I figure he thought I'd see the complaint and cave in to his demands. Not quite. More on the Paypal complaint later.

Sent: 6/7/03

You're right....I'm not going to do anything. I would have been more responsive to your problems had you not lied in previous emails.

This is what happened:

You sent me an email at exactly 8:22:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time saying "the package is at the post office and I can pay the 13 dollars or not"

I responded at exactly 9:16:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time the same day telling you to either pay the extra amount yourself or ship it back as Refused, Return to Sender at no cost to you.

Then, in less than half an hour later (9:41:54 PM Eastern Daylight Time to be exact), you sent me an email saying "I justed picked it up from the post office" and that you tested the system and it works.

So, what you're saying is that you read my email, went to your post office (past closing time), waited in line, paid for the shipping, drove back, opened it up, tested the system, and replied to my email, all in under 25 minutes. Uh huh.

You paid for the extra shipping already and didn't tell me to try to extort money out of me. If, in fact, I am wrong about this, you should have sent it back, free of charge, to which I would have refunded your money.

Now, as for your last email, you claim that the "box has been 'run over' it seems." I asked what kind of shipping you want weeks ago, and you wanted it sent the cheap way. I used a firm, only-used-once box. This is what happens when you have something sent the cheapest way possible. You get what you pay for. A crushed box is the Post Office's fault, not mine. If you were worried about problems like this, you should have asked for insurance, which only costs around 1-2 American dollars.

You also say that "Its filthy and the thing is trashed." If by filthy, you mean "slightly dusty," you are right. Take a rag or paper towel and wipe it down. There. Good as new. There are no missing pieces, no dents, no marker stains, no Pepsi spilled on it, etc... You said it yourself; the system works.

So there you have it. You have a working SMS with all the necessary accessories/games and you paid very little for it all. Enjoy the system. This transaction is over.

-Justin

Sent: 6/7/03
different time zone
my brother picked it up after work
I didnt know until l8er
It was sent to his name
I didnt lie

I know on first glance it doesn't seem like much, but this is one of the most insane emails I have ever received or even heard of. Every single idea in this email is either a blatant lie or sheer ignorance. Seriously, I could write a thousand page dissertation on every single fact wrong here, but I'll do the best I can here to be brief.

Let's start with the first line. He's trying to dispute my allegation that his post office wasn't open during that 25 minute busy period by saying I didn't factor in the difference in time zones. Unfortunately for him, I did exactly that. What government building, especially a post office, is going to be open in between 6 and 7PM? Even in Canada, that doesn't occur. Notice how he doesn't dispute anything else that happened in that 25 minutes.

Next paragraph. Ohhhhhhh, so your brother picked it up! That explains everything! It was even shipped to him! Well, golly, you've got me, so here's your full refun…Waiiiit, let me check that Paypal payment receipt again:

Dear Justin Rybinski,

This email confirms that you have received an Auction Instant Purchase Payment for $41.00 from Patrick Rosner (************@shaw.ca)

------------------------------
Payment Details:
------------------------------
Total Amount: $41.00
Currency: U.S. Dollars
Item Title: HUGE LOT Sega Master System GAMES CONSOLE sms
Etc….etc…..

------------------------------
Patrick Rosner's UNCONFIRMED Address
------------------------------
Patrick Rosner
**** N. Island Hwy
*************
Canada

And that is the address I shipped to. Since the post office doesn't just give packages out to anyone who shows up, we are left with only two options:

1) Patrick Rosner has a brother named Patrick Rosner.
OR
2) Patrick Rosner (the real one) is lying.

Ladies and gentlemen, it could not possibly be option number two, because of the third line in the email. "I didnt lie." This fact is so obvious, it doesn't even need supporting evidence to back it up. Seriously, though, if he weren't lying, wouldn't he, you know, say something else?

Sent: 6/8/03

Hi again

you signed the paper that says merchandise not gift
I have the paper if you want me to scan it and sent to you via email

I had to pay... I just want to get this over with and not make this transaction get any worse then it already is!

Do you want to go half way... I had to pay 9.57US... do you want to send me 4.78US via paypal so we can get this over with and still have a happy ending?

let me know
thx for your time

It's so sad, having to resort to opening up old topics that have already been settled. Of course he wants to get this over with as soon as possible! He lost this battle! Plus, he was found out to be a liar or mentally deranged. Also, in email number five, he mentioned that he has a picture of the customs form already. Now he needs to scan another one in? What? Sick of dealing with his shit, I sent him this curt email:

Sent: 6/10/03

I will consider this offer and get back to you on Wednesday. I have too much other ebay business to attend to until then.
I'll let you know.
-Justin

I obviously had no intention of either considering his offer or getting back to him on Wednesday. I figured Wednesday would pass, then another day, and another, and eventually he'd get the hint that he's not going to see a dime from me. That didn't exactly happen.

Sent: 6/20/03

let me know if you want to do that

thx

Sent: 6/20/03
I will send you a refund for $4.78 if you complete the following:
1) Leave me positive feedback for this transaction.
2) Attempt to remove the complaint against me on Paypal.
If you do each of these, I will send you the partial refund and leave you positive feedback as well.
-Justin

At this point, ten days had passed since his last email and I had gotten notice from Paypal that they completely threw out his complaint. They even let me delete it from their system manually! I was able to select the box next to hit and click on Delete, which wasn't an option before. I did that and it was stricken from my records. Even a huge, nameless, faceless corporation can see right through this guy's lies. I responded with those two sets of demands, the second one being impossible.

Sent: 6/22/03

Hi Justin

I will leave you feedback as soon as I recieve the 4.78US
and you leave me feedback

thx
~Pat

Sent: 6/24/03
Hi
Well I guess I will have to leave feedback now
let me know if you want to send the 4.78US
else I'll have no choice as I cant keep waiting for 4.78US
you dont answer my emails
well I gave you a chance to resolve this
I will wait until tonight around 12
hopefully I here from you before
thx
~Pat

Jesus christ, does this guy even read my emails? And for your safety, please don't look directly at his last line in that email. He mentions leaving feedback. As of TODAY (whatever day you are reading this), he has not left feedback at all for me, positive, negative or neutral. If you're going to threaten me with something, at least try to follow up on it. I think it's time for some fake anger:

Sent: 6/24/03

I don't respond to your emails, because they are contradictory to what I say to you previously. I told you EXACTLY what you'd have to do before I send you a refund, then you reply with some mumbo-jumbo that is not acceptable.

The reason I want you to leave feedback first is to cover my tracks. I don't want to give you a refund, then have you leave a negative. I also don't want some garbage Paypal warning floating around my account. All of this will take you three minutes to complete. Then I send your refund. Is that really so hard?

-Justin

Even though I was laughing throughout the writing of this email, I still stand by the first two lines of my second paragraph. I don't leave feedback for any customer until they leave some for me. It only makes sense. Once the bidder is happy and leaves feedback, the transaction is essentially over. Why wouldn't the seller be happy at this point? Payment arrived and the item was shipped. I don't want to be stuck with an unchangeable positive comment left for an unruly bidder who pays, but later complains groundlessly and leaves me a negative. I want to be able to respond in kind to that user. This doesn't transpire all too often, but it has in the past. His clever response:

Sent: 6/25/03

yeah no can do
same reasons as you

if you tell me how to get the warning off I will do that
but you have to leave feedback first

I have no need to leave negative feedback if you went half way
Thx

~Pat

I didn't respond to this email because I had nothing more to say to him. I grew tired of toying with him and I just wanted to stop seeing his name constantly jamming my email inbox. Apparently he grew weary of the whole transaction, too, as he stopped emailing me. However, I just received another email as I write this article. Here it is, nearly a month later than his last email:

Sent: 7/19/03

pls leave feedback
Thx

~Pat

I guess the moral to this story is never deal with Canadians. I never left him feedback of any kind, nor did I send him any more emails. While this wasn't quite the dumbest transaction I've dealt with on ebay (or the most irritating), it was...well, the longest.

I hope you enjoyed this little tale and may the same never happen to you.

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